I Don’t Believe in Birth Plans
Many women are frightened about their labour and birth experience. They worry about the pain of labour, the damage to their vagina, the risks of a c-section and the recovery process from surgery should they want or need one. They worry about breastfeeding, and how to care for a newborn. They worry about having the “best” delivery and ensuring their unborn child is off to the best possible start in life. And, in an effort to gain control, women often create birth plans.
My experience with birth plans is that things don’t always go according to plan. In fact, when labour and delivery is concerned, sometimes things don’t go according to plan at all. Having concerns is perfectly normal and is an unpleasant, but expected part of pregnancy and motherhood. However, we must consider the impact of dealing with a situation that has not gone according to plan when you really wanted it to. I’ve seen women feel defeated and devastated when an unexpected event caused a change to their birth plan. I’ve also witnessed residual trauma caused by the experience of losing control. Instead of having an iron clad plan, I promote women to keep an open mind about giving birth.
Every pregnancy, labour, birth and baby are unique. Don’t let societal pressure make you feel bad or guilty about deciding how you labour, birth and feed your baby. There are only two ways a baby can come out. I feel that getting hung up on how the baby comes might be missing the big picture, which is ensuring a healthy mom and baby. So instead of focusing on birth plans let’s talk about birth education.
Here are 4 areas of focus so that you can be informed but open minded while going into your birth experience:
Prepare for your birth by seeking out current research-based information and birth education. Here are some areas of focus to prepare you for the birth:
Know who will care for you during labour
Know all the locations you can deliver your baby
Be informed about both vaginal and c-section births
Gain awareness of how you cope with pain and what are your options for pain relief
Communicate your needs and figure out what you want to know to ease your fears and anxieties about labour, birth, postpartum and newborn care. Be honest about how you feel and make sure your partner and health care team know as well.
Consider your way of coping with uncertainty. Try to think about how you cope when things are uncertain and who can help you cope with unexpected situations. Who is your support person? What is your system?
Ask questions and trust the birthing professionals looking after you and your baby. They are experienced in birthing babies. They know what they’re doing and want you and your baby to be safe and healthy.
Having a baby will change your life, no matter where you birth your baby, who delivers your baby, or whether you have a vaginal birth or c-section birth. Having your baby one way versus another is in no shape of form a reflection of your ability to be a caring, loving mother. What matters most is a healthy mom and baby. Keep an open mind and be flexible. You got this.
Note: In the current situation with the Covid-19 Pandemic its especially important to keep an open mind and be flexible about your labour and birth experience. The government and hospital policies have changed to promote the safety and health of you and your baby.