Sam’s Breastfeeding Story
“Every woman has a different experience with breastfeeding. I think most women say it wasn’t easy but they are glad they did it, regardless of how long they did it for. Any amount of breastfeeding you can do is great for you and baby”
Being pregnant while working as a labour & delivery nurse was not easy. Don’t get me wrong, knowing the ins & outs of the medical system was very helpful and knowing the people who would ultimately deliver my baby was calming and reassuring. But, knowing all the things that can go wrong during a pregnancy and seeing all sorts of complicated and stressful situations for my patients made it difficult for me to cope with my own pregnancy. I didn’t realize how anxious I was until late into my third trimester. The birth of my son was exciting and uncomplicated (I had envisioned many scenarios in which something went wrong leading up to the delivery), and I’m so thankful the birth went smoothly. Unfortunately, the anxiety I was feeling got redirected towards breastfeeding.
After Josh was born, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. Sadly, this is the time you must rally your strength and begin trying to breastfeed (being a mom is a hard job on day one!). After teaching “intro to breastfeeding” to hundreds of women over the years I had a chance to put that knowledge into action. I knew going in that it was not going to be easy. My years of experience helping women and all the advice I got from all the wonderful, wise, and experienced moms in my life informed me it would be difficult. Unfortunately knowing this beforehand didn’t make it any easier.
I started off okay. I got breastfeeding support from the nurses and lactation consultants in the hospital. Every time I got that one-on-one support, I felt great. I felt confident and looked forward to my next opportunity to breastfeed. But every time I tried to do it alone, I struggled. On top of that, it was so painful that I would count down the seconds until it stopped hurting once my son was latched. So, after 2 days in hospital with lots of support, I still didn’t feel I had a hang of it. To make matters worse, my milk supply had not fully come in yet. We booked an appointment at the hospital’s breastfeeding clinic for some outpatient support. My son had mild jaundice and we had to check his bilirubin levels anyway, so going back to the same hospital I delivered in was a no brainer. Newborn jaundice and breastfeeding often go hand in hand so the idea was that fixing my breastfeeding problem would fix his jaundice (See my Instagram post What is Newborn Jaundice?).
For the next four days, we would come to the breastfeeding clinic for Josh’s bilirubin check and assess how breastfeeding was going. I was anxious, exhausted, and frustrated with breastfeeding but finally something changed the situation for the better. A lovely nurse advised us to purchase a breast pump. I had always planned to buy one but hadn’t yet with all our daily appointments. She created a comprehensive plan where I would breastfeed, pump, and top Josh up with formula. I downloaded an app to help me keep track of all of this. Trying to manage breast feeding, pumping and formula feeding was challenging on very little sleep even with my husband’s help, so getting an app proved to be absolutely essential. I finally felt organized and in control of Josh’s feeding schedule. We would do this until our next appointment, which was the next day. Finally, a couple of days later my milk supply came in. Things improved. Josh was eating, gaining weight, and we were discharged from the clinic. I’m still thanking that nurse in my heart because the breast pump made the difference.
When Josh was finally jaundice free and was steadily gaining weight, we got into a good rhythm. I fed him every two hours around the clock. This really meant every 1.5 hours because it would take at least 20 min to feed him. But it was still quite painful when he would latch. This lasted until he was almost a month old. I was lucky and did not have bleeding or cracked nipples but I really dreaded latching him every time, bracing myself and taking deep breaths.
Every woman has a different experience with breastfeeding. I think most women say it wasn’t easy but they are glad they did it, regardless of how long they did it for. Any amount of breastfeeding you can do is great for you and baby. My philosophy is you should try to breastfeed. Be patient because like any new skill it takes practice. You should get lots of breastfeeding support both in hospital and at home and take active steps to getting support if you feel that it’s lacking. All that being said, your physical and mental health matter. If breastfeeding really isn’t working, formula is a safe and effective option to feed your baby. While I truly feel that there are benefits to breastfeeding, the ultimate goal is a healthy mom and baby, and a stable, calm, and nurturing environment for them to grow in. Whatever you choose to do, you got this!